10 Commandments of Human Relations

This is found in Legacy: Daughter of Utah Pioneers Newsletter, Winter 2008

1. Speak to people.  There is nothing so nice as a cheerful word of greeting.
2. Smile at people.  It takes 72 muscles to frown, and only 14 to smile.
3. Call people by name.  The sweetest music to anyone's ears is the sound of his or her own name.
4. Be friendly.  If you would have friends, you need to be one.
5. Be cordial.  Speak and act as if everything you do is a genuine pleasure.
6. Be genuinely interested.  People want to know that you care about what they have to say.
7. Be generous with praise.  Affirmation is uplifting to a person.  Be cautious with you criticisms.
8. Be considerate.  Feelings are hurt rather easily.  Be aware of that fact and don't be rude--even if you disagree.
9. Give service.  It's more fun to give than to receive.  You'll make somebody's day.
10. Add to these a sense of humor, a big dose of patience and a dash of humility, and you will be rewarded many fold.

Poetry I Like: Silver Boxes

Silver Boxes

My words were harsh and hasty And they came without a thought. Then I saw the pain and anguish That my bitter words had brought. Bitter words that I had spoken Made me think back through the past; of how many times I'd uttered Biting words whose pain would last. Then I wondered of the people I had hurt by what I'd said; All the ones I had discouraged WHen I didn't use my head. Then I thought about my own life, Of painful words I've heard; And of the times I'd been discouraged By a sharp and cruel word. And now clearly I remember All the things I might have done; But, by a word I was discouraged And they never were begun. Lord, help my words be silver boxes, Neatly wrapped up with a bow; That I give to all so freely, As through each day I gladly go. Silver boxes full of treasure, Precious gifts from God above; That all the people I encounter Might have a box of God's own love. Michael Bright 1989

Stories I Like: Apes, Stairs and Bananas from Good Clean Fun

GCF: Apes, Stairs and a Banana

Start with a cage containing five apes. In the cage, hang a
banana on a string and put stairs under it. Before long, an
ape will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the
banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the
apes with cold water. After a while, another ape makes an
attempt with the same result - all the apes are sprayed with
cold water.

Continue until, when another ape tries to climb the stairs,
the other apes try to prevent it.

At this point, turn off the cold water.

Now remove one ape from the cage and replace it with a new ape.
The new ape sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To
his horror, all of the other apes attack him. After another
attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the
stairs, he will be assaulted.

Next, remove another of the original five apes and replace it
with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked.
The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with
enthusiasm.

Again, replace a third original ape with a new one. The new one
makes it to the stairs and is attacked as well. Two of the four
apes that beat him have no idea why they were not permitted to
climb the stairs, or why they are participating in the beating
of the newest ape.

After replacing the fourth and fifth original apes, all the apes
which have been sprayed with cold water have been replaced.

Nevertheless, no ape ever again approaches the stairs. Why not?

"Because that's the way it's always been around here."

And that's how corporate policies begin.

This I found on Good Clean Fun.  It is on Jeff Bridges website

The Ham Story

A similar story I heard was a woman who always chopped the ends off the ham before putting it in the oven to  roast.  When her husband saw his wife wasting some of the ham he asked her why.  She said because my mother always did it this way.  Husband asks, "Why did your mother do it that way?"  "I don't know, she just did."  Husband finally prevails upon her to call mother and ask her.  The answer, I had a small roasting pan and  the hame would not fit if I didn't cut off the ends.  Who knows sometimes why we do what we do.  Sometimes you just have to think outside of the box.
This story I heard at Amway conventions.  

More Positive Thinking Quotes

A doubtful throne is ice on summer seas.

It is quite possible that money is not your problem, after all.  Your problem may be a lack of patience.  So learn how to harness time to let money work for you.

I am come that they might have life--and that they might have it more abundantly.  (John 10:10 KJV)

Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure; than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much because they live in the grey twilight that knows not victory nor defeat.  Ted Roosevelt

poetry, stories I like: The Blind Men and the Elephant

The Blind Men and the Elephant
John Godfrey Saxe (1816-1887)

It was six men of Indostan
To learning much inclined,
Who went to see the Elephant
(Though all of them were blind),
That each by observation
Might satisfy his mind.      
The First approached the Elephant,
And happening to fall
Against his broad and sturdy side,
At once began to bawl:
"God bless me! but the Elephant
Is very like a WALL!"      
The Second, feeling of the tusk,
Cried, "Ho, what have we here,
So very round and smooth and sharp?
To me 'tis mighty clear
This wonder of an Elephant
Is very like a SPEAR!"      
The Third approached the animal,
And happening to take
The squirming trunk within his hands,
Thus boldly up and spake:
"I see," quoth he, "the Elephant
Is very like a SNAKE!"      
The Fourth reached out an eager hand,
And felt about the knee
"What most this wondrous beast is like
Is mighty plain," quoth he:
"'Tis clear enough the Elephant
Is very like a TREE!"      
The Fifth, who chanced to touch the ear,
Said: "E'en the blindest man
Can tell what this resembles most;
Deny the fact who can,
This marvel of an Elephant
Is very like a FAN!"      
The Sixth no sooner had begun
About the beast to grope,
Than seizing on the swinging tail
That fell within his scope,
"I see," quoth he, "the Elephant
Is very like a ROPE!"      
And so these men of Indostan
Disputed loud and long,
Each in his own opinion
Exceeding stiff and strong,
Though each was partly in the right,
And all were in the wrong!   

ELEPHANT AND THE BLIND MEN
Once upon a time, there lived six blind men in a village. One day the villagers told them, "Hey, there is an elephant in the village today."
They had no idea what an elephant is. They decided, "Even though we would not be able to see it, let us go and feel it anyway." All of them went where the elephant was. Everyone of them touched the elephant.
"Hey, the elephant is a pillar," said the first man who touched his leg.
"Oh, no! it is like a rope," said the second man who touched the tail.
"Oh, no! it is like a thick branch of a tree," said the third man who touched the trunk of the elephant.
"It is like a big hand fan" said the fourth man who touched the ear of the elephant.
"It is like a huge wall," said the fifth man who touched the belly of the elephant.
"It is like a solid pipe," Said the sixth man who touched the tusk of the elephant.
They began to argue about the elephant and everyone of them insisted that he was right. It looked like they were getting agitated. A wise man was passing by and he saw this. He stopped and asked them, "What is the matter?" They said, "We cannot agree to what the elephant is like." Each one of them told what he thought the elephant was like. The wise man calmly explained to them, "All of you are right. The reason every one of you is telling it differently because each one of you touched the different part of the elephant. So, actually the elephant has all those features what you all said."
"Oh!" everyone said. There was no more fight. They felt happy that they were all right.
The moral of the story is that there may be some truth to what someone says. Sometimes we can see that truth and sometimes not because they may have different perspective which we may not agree too. So, rather than arguing like the blind men, we should say, "Maybe you have your reasons." This way we don’t get in arguments. In Jainism, it is explained that truth can be stated in seven different ways. So, you can see how broad our religion is. It teaches us to be tolerant towards others for their viewpoints. This allows us to live in harmony with the people of different thinking. This is known as the Syadvada, Anekantvad, or the theory of Manifold Predictions.

Message of the Day

This is the best of the Message of the Day which is included in hospital wide memos where I work.

“Patience and perseverance have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish.” ~John Quincy Adams

The secret of getting ahead is getting started. ~Mark Twain

“In the beginning of a change, the patriot is a scarce man, and brave, and hated and scorned. When his cause succeeds, the timid join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot.” ~Mark Twain, Notebook, 1935

“A mom's hug lasts long after she lets go.” ~Author Unknown

“Give Thanks for what you are now, and keep fighting for what you want to be tomorrow.”  Fernanda Miramontes-Landeros

The smallest good deed is greater than the grandest intention.  Barbara Walters

“Smiling is infectious, You can catch it like the flu. Someone smiled at me today, And I started smiling too.” ~Author Unknown

Poetry I like: Invictus

This is from the movie, as well as the Lee Rodgers (RIP) website

Invictus

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

William Ernest Henley

More Positive Thinking Quotes

If you don’t like the view, change your seat.

To reach a goal you have to give up some security.

Procrastination:  To put off intentionally, and habitually and reprehensibly the doing of something that should be done.

If you keep doing what you’re doing you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.

Truly the most valuable product in the world is an idea.  Good ideas magnetically attract support form unexpected sources.

I don't have sources for these quotes.  Just stuff I wrote down to remember.

Poetry I Like: Always Have Dream

Always Have a Dream

Forget about the days when it has been cloudy,
But don’t forget your hours in the sun.
Forget about the times you have been defeated,
But don’t forget the victories that you have won.
Forget about the lessons you can’t change now,
But don’t forget the lessons you have learned.
Forget about the days you have been lonely,
But don’t forget the friendly smiles you have seen.
Forget about the plans that didn’t seem to work out right,
But don’t forget to always have a Dream.
(Anonymous)

Positive Thinking from Prophets

When we deal in generalities we shall never succeed.
When we deal in specifics we shall rarely have failure.
When performance is measured, performance improves.
When performance is measured and reported, the rate of improvement accelerates.
Thomas S. Monson

If you have somebody who has a goal mind, you’ve got a gold mind.
President Spencer W. Kimball

What we persist in doing becomes easy to do.  Not because the task becomes easier but because our ability to do is increased.
President Heber J. Grant

Poetry I Like: The Night they Burned Shanghai

The last stanza of this poem us familiar to me.  I did not know it had a whole poem, and story before.  The world is such a small place.  We are all interconnected, and should actively work to make the world a better place.  It is too easy to turn your head, pretend you don't see.  However in this times, if we do that we may lose our civil rights and then our freedom.  Let us be active in preserving our rights, but peacefully if we can.

The Night they Burned Shanghai
by Robert D. Abrahams

The night they burned Shanghai we had a date,
Bridge with the Watermans in Germantown.
"Now, John, be careful of the game you play;
Don't overbid. Play safe."
                    "I will, Louise.
Let's not discuss it. I'm not good at cards.
Lord, it's a long way in to Watermans'-
Half Philadelphia's length, if it's an inch.
Why do we have to live near Valley Forge,
If all our dates must be in Germantown?"

(Tonight Shanghai is burning,
Bright Shanghai of the Bund;
The rickshas all are overturned,
The China-hands are stunned.

The curio shops are looted,
The fan-tan games are gone;
The shrieks of haunted children rise,
The bombing planes drone on.)

Darling Louise, but eighteen, then, and slim,
Not thirty-two and card-wise, neighbor-wise.
"Darling Louise," I whispered, "life comes once.
Let's grab it while we can and make it ours.
Bucharest, the band at Parcul Carol
Will play for us alone if we are there;
And Copenhagen-Tivoli at night -
Naples and Athens, Persia, Xanadu,
Adventure everywhere for you and me;
We need not even go so far afield.
Here in this Philadelphia, our frontier,
We'll find stuffed shirts to puncture, work to do,
Dead wood to clear away, great causes ready,
Making to stay at home adventure too.
Adventure shared is most of love, Louise."

(How far is Germantown from Valley Forge?
A bitter march in winter for the troops,
While Tories dance in town with General Howe
And gentlemen sit down at cards and dice,
And wonder when that rabble will give in.
"My dear, I cannot understand this Washington -
A gentleman, at that, to lead revolt.
And what's the latest fashion from abroad?
Pray, who is marrying who, and who is not?")

Then, I remember, "Shanghai, too," I whispered,
"We'll know bright Shanghai of the Bund, Louise.
We'll ride in rickshas down by Soochow Creek
And haggle with the Chinese curio men."
And eager-eyed Louise looked back at me
And answered, "Yes, John, yes, we'll do it all."
I know she meant it, and I meant it too.

(Tonight Shanghai is burning,
The flames are leaping high,
And those who fought or kept the peace,
Alike must drably die.)

"Louise," I say, "we'll never get to Burma,
Or go to Dutch Guiana or Shanghai -
No, not Shanghai; they're burning that tonight;
But yet we've our frontier in Philadelphia.
Next year let's take an interest in the world;
Go into politics, perhaps, or write a book,
Or make a fight for ancient liberties,
Or go adventuring some other way.
But not Shanghai-they're burning that tonight -
And not tonight-we have a date tonight,
And that's the way it always seems to be.
Wait long enough and Shanghai always burns.
Your bridges burn before you, not behind."

(Tonight Shanghai is burning,
The fan-tan games are stilled,
The chips cashed in in blood and gore -
The players all are killed.)

"Isn't it strange, Louise, that up this road
The Continental Army came one day,
Where now we're driving down to Watermans'
To spend a little quiet time at cards?" . . .
"I think the door's the second on the right."
And Waterman is probably inside,
Setting the folding table up, the chairs.
In every second house in Germantown,
At this particular moment, I believe
You'd find a man unfolding little chairs.
(There was a place I wanted much to see -
Madrid, the place was called-that's burning too -
And Prague and Hankow, going with the rest.
Well, next year maybe no more bridge, Louise -
Next year adventure right at Valley Forge -
Next year's for living-here is our frontier.)

And now we come at last to Watermans';
Our host is waiting pleasantly inside.
"And play a safe game, will you, John, this time?"
Louise says while we park our car.
"I will, Louise, I will."
               I know I will.

And after greetings, Waterman exclaims,
"A fine mess in the Far East, boys and girls,"
And we agree, and we sit down to play.
Tonight they burn Shanghai, and we are safe -
Safe from the world and all its puzzles-safe
From everything except our own contempt.

(Tonight Shanghai is burning,
And we are dying too.
What bomb more surely mortal
Than death inside of you?

For some men die by shrapnel,
And some go down in flames,
But most men perish inch by inch,
In play at little games.)

The Starfish

I first heard this story from W Mitchell at an Amway conference.  It made an impression with me then I still like it.  I hope to make a difference to the one.
The Starfish

There was a young man walking down a deserted beach just before dawn.  In the distance he saw a frail old man.  As he approached the old man, he saw him picking up stranded starfish and throwing them back into the sea.  The young man gazed in wonder as the old man again and again threw the small starfish from the sand to the water.  He asked him, “Why do you spend so much energy doing what seems to be a waste of time?”  The old man explained that the stranded starfish would die if left in the morning sun.  “But there must be thousands of beaches and millions of starfish,” exclaimed the young man, “How can your effort make any difference?”  The old man looked down at the small starfish in his hand and as he threw it to safety in the sea said…… “It makes a difference to this one.”
 Adapted from Loren Eiseley